People let me tell you bout my best friend

A few updates and one really corny, cheesy ramble...

1. Mom and her man are back together. I'm over it and over her. If it makes her happy, fine...be happy. Just come to Georgia for Christmas and Thanksgiving if you want to see me.

2. Grad school is kicking my rear end. I only have one week left of the class from Hell. That week has an 8 page paper and a huge final though. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

3. I still LOVE my new job, I really do...but this week has thrown me for a loop. We lost a teacher this week due to numbers. She was displaced in our county. So as of tomorrow I no longer co-teach 3 classes and have one by myself. I now teach 3 by myself and co-teach one. I have 2 6th grade social studies classes, one 8th grade Language Arts and my co-taught 7th grade LA. Co-teaching is not what you think either. I actually co-teach. The other teacher and I feed off of each other and take turns throughout the lesson teaching different aspects. I'm excited but hate, hate, hate losing my kids that I have learned to adore. I also hate changing my caseload after spending endless nights working on things to help them in class. Oh well...at least I have a job at the same school.

Now the ramble....

Brandon has been gone since Wednesday. He went on a hiking trip to the North Georgia Mountains and is getting back today. I've always heard of people calling their spouse their best friend but thought that it was going a little far. After being away from him for four days and having very little communication with him (2 - 3 minutes a day) I'm starting to realize that he really is becoming my best friend. I never realized how much I depend on him, crave his attention, long to hear his voice, need him to bring me back to earth, need him to comfort me, want him to say everything is going to be ok...just so I can get mad at him and tell him he has no idea what he's talking about. I have missed his companionship and his laugh and can't wait for him to be home in just a few minutes. We've been away a few times since we've been married, a lot this summer, but this was the first time that we've had no communication. I pray that I keep strong friendships with those that I grew up with, went to college with, and gained here in Georgia...but he really is my best friend.

I told you I was right...

I hate to say this, especially with my mother's happiness on the line, but I was right. I knew I was. I knew there was something going on with that man that creeped me out. I knew it.

Here's the rest of the story...

My mother dated a guy when she was a teenager. She has just finished taking care of her mother who passed away when my mother was 19. She loved this man. He was called away to war and came back in a wheelchair. He told her that he didn't love her and wanted nothing to do with her. I'm sure it was because he didn't want her to have to live that way but still he broke her heart. Mom met dad, married him, and took care of him for the last 10 years while he was in and out of the hospitial and nursing home. Dad passed away 2 years ago this November. The day he died there were flowers on our front porch from that man. A few months later they started dating and were engaged just a few weeks ago. The whole time I did a very poor job of keeping an open mind about him but crap...the man broke my mother's heart. She called to tell me they were engaged and I lost it. I never did like the situation and was even more pissed that our house would be sold and I would have to go to "his" house when I went home to New Hope.

She loved him. I'll give her that. She loved him, he made her happy, so as much as I could, I put on a happy face and pretended to finally be ok with the situation.

Until last night....Mom called me around 5 my time. I was in class and didn't answer and figured no one had died when she didn't leave a message. I called her when I got out of class and she had already gone to bed. My mother is 61 years old and works 11 hour days so her being in bed early is nothing new. I asked her though why she had called me so early. She responded that usually she was somewhere else but she hadn't gone over there last night because he had told her on the phone that they needed some time a part. Who says that? 14 year olds...that's who. The more I thought about it the more pissed I was. So being me and being like Kay I called him. I said some really not nice things. Especially when he led on like it was her fault. Are you kidding me? The woman works 11 hours a day, goes to his house, takes care of his crippled rear end and then comes home and goes to bed. Really...she has time or energy to cheat on you....come on. So after setting him straight and deciding not to drive to New Hope to kick his face in, I calmed down.

I say all of that to say this....you don't mess with my husband, you don't mess with my mama and you don't mess with the mee-maws. I will punch your face!

So....if I call you and tell you the bus is swinging by to pick you up to go kick some rear end...just put on some pink shorts and be ready!!

It's Labor Day

and though I'm sad I'm not sitting on a whale with these girls...I'm ok that I'm not in New Orleans!

I am at home however, coughing up a lung, sore throat, and reading a book that I would rather use as fire wood in the winter.

Here's to fun memories!

If everyone else was jumping off a bridge...

I would probably strap it on and jump too! So I finally got around to changing this thing and updating it a bit. Maybe just maybe that will keep me motivated to post on it. I cliked on my very first entry and looked through all the months just the other day. It has become a scrapbook of events, feelings, emotions, highs and lows.

I got my first real paycheck today. A paycheck that might just cover all the bills, food, and leave me with 25.00 at the end of the month. I've been paid now for 2 years once a month and I'm still not use to it!

We are spending a weekend at home this Labor Day. Hopefully I'll be productive and lazy all at the same time.

Have a great weekend.

Look at this photograph

So this year at school I get my own laptop. I'm pretty excited about this because now I don't have to share a computer with my husband. I decided to make my screen saver my saved pictures. I went on facebook and myspace and my e-mail and saved a whole bunch of pictures to my documents. I hit apply and there you have it, my pictures are my screen saver. And then it hit...

I'm sitting at my desk at work today. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm lonely in my trailer and my computer goes on stand by. The first picture pops up and it's the mee-maws on a whale. The second one is of me as a baby. The third of Brandon and our nieces at our wedding. The next a picture at a wedding I was in with old friends from Georgia. The next of me and Sara-Beth at a Judson function and then the next of us at my wedding. A picture of Brandon kissing me on the forehead on our honeymoon and one of him on bended knee asking me to marry him. And so on and so on. The flood of tears came as I sat and watched my life unfold before me. Of course it wasn't a complete snapshot of my life, but it covers a lot. My mind went from being tired and frustrated to overwhelmed at the goodness in my life. There was a bittersweet feeling towards all the changes in my life. Joy over pictures of my sweet husband and family. Sadness over friends that have drifted away or no longer care to be a part of my life. Sadness over the distance between the Judson girls and myself. Pride at the pictures of children and families we have created and moments we have shared since graduation.

Tears of joy and sadness.

To everything there is a season, and
a time to every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, and
a time to die;
a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up
that which is planted;

A time to kill, and
a time to heal;
a time to break down, and
a time to build up;

A time to weep, and
a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and
a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and
a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and
a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and
a time to lose;
a time to keep, and
a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and
a time to sow;
a time to keep silence, and
a time to speak;

A time to love, and
a time to hate;
a time of war; and
a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

It's really over...

My summer vacation that is. I have to go back tomorrow to new teacher orientation. I'm not really excited about this part. I am however excited about the fact that my classroom is going to be ready for me by the end of the week and I can get all this crap in there that's been living on my kitchen table this week. I'm pretty excited about the fact that I get to set up my classroom. I'm really getting into this whole planning phase of things but I'm also pretty nervous about this upcoming semester. I'll be teaching for the first time, have my own caseload of special ed students, take the hardest class next to capstone in my master's degree, look after the youth ministry at our church and try to still learn to be married. It's going to be a lot but I think i'm ready to get back into a routine....that's for sure.

I miss my friends though and wish we could get together someitme soon. I may just have to rob a bank and make it to Lily's party. I really want some mee-maw time.

He shocks me sometimes...

Random conversation in our house the other day...

Brandon: I don't think Jon and Kate really like each other...
Me: If we had 8 kids I wouldn't like you much either
Brandon: I'm excited about you getting pregnant so we can take those sideways belly pictures...

Then he preceeds to stick his stomach out like he was pregnant. Too bad I could take those pictures now without being pregnant.

The end...

Oh wait...the new Sugarland is amazing and worth getting the deluxe version on ITUNES!! Wish I could be around my friends to sing Stay like I was cheating on someone. Shut up Brandon...I'm not.

Just a little update...

So i've decided that the first year of marriage really is the hardest but the best thing ever. It's so fun to find out new little things about Brandon every day. And even though there are still some issues that we have to work through, some on a daily basis, it's still the best feeling in the world laying down every night to the one that I love more than anything.

Faith like a child...

There are things in life that shake our faith and leave us feeling as though it would be impossible to return to the faith of a child. As those things mount up in this journey we call life, it seems to get harder and harder to return to that faith. With clouded eyes and blurred vision it's hard to even turn back and see what that looks like much less try and remember how it felt. I get so jaded by the world that I wonder sometimes why pray if it will make no difference to "God's will." It's going to happen the way it's going to happen so why try and stop it or change the course that it seems to be on. I worry about things that are out of my control because for once I have found something that I couldn't imagine having to let go of, though i've been in the room when I've let go of someone. I don't really think that you can truly prepare someone for that moment until that sort of moment comes. There are no words to describe that scene. It stays in your mind with you as long as you live. Though time helps you not think about it so much, you never know where you'll be when it hits you. It hits you in the gut most of the time. You are so not ready for the song, the sound, the picture, the touch, the smell that brings you back to that place, but all of a sudden you are there and there's nothing that you can do about it. Morbid as it seems you have to go and replay that scene in your mind just to walk through the process and feel completion. People pray, show up with food and flowers, maybe make a phone call or send a letter when the moment comes. But two years down the road it's just you and your grief and you feel like an idiot for acting the way that you do.

So why keep pushing for things to change, praying for divine intervention to situations around me, asking for this heaviness to be taken away when everyday it just seems to become a cross to hard to bear?

Because I can't stand to live like this anymore. I can't stand to not be able to enjoy the moments I have because of the moments that "might" come sooner than later. I can't stand to be crazy and try to make excuses for it. I can't stand to have my friends wondering what in the hell is wrong with me and why i've become this person because i'm not brave enough to say the words that I'm not ok sometimes. I can't be that person anymore because now I have a husband that depends on me and children who will one day need a mom that's not crazy.

My prayer, everday now, has to be simple. It's really all I've got. Lord, Please help me return to that faith of a child...and help me to hold on. I pray it's in your will.

A new post finally

It's been a while since I've done a real post. I've been trying to catch up with life, laundry, thank you cards and working on this whole married thing. Being married is great. One of the greatest decisions I've ever made. (Besides choosing to go to Judson and moving to Georgia). It is something that I am figuring out has to be worked at on a daily basis. Some days it goes great. Other days...not so much. But thankfully you keep getting better at the whole process...little by little.

I am trying to enjoy my first summer off since I started working in education. I decided not to take classes this summer in order to regain some of my sanity. I am also trying to decide what I really want to be when I grow up and trying to figure out a little bit more about what my passions really are. Family is becoming more and more important to me, though I'm not ready to add to mine quite yet. But it's been fun just spending some time with myself this summer and getting back to the things that I enjoy.

I find myself often wishing that my Judson friends were closer. I know that we would probably kill each other if we saw each other all the time...but somehow Christmas and JDay don't cut it anymore and I find myself in need of the mee-maws more and more often. Other friends are great....really great...but there's nothing like being around the people who get you and love for who they find.

Life is good right now and I pray that each day I can become more and more thankful for the goodness that is in my life and around me and cherish every moment that I have with the people that I love.

So sad....

Just in case you haven't heard....

My heart goes out to them and their family.

www.stevencurtischapman.com

Christy Davis Peevy

The ceremony....

They say that most brides put a lot of time into their reception and little on their ceremony. Well I think I spent more time on the ceremony than anything and it was well worth it. The mothers and grandmothers came into Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) and the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen came into Unfailing Love. The selections were sung by Erin Mattox who has a beautiful voice. I came into Canon in D and was escorted by Terry Carter my old youth miniwster. Scott Kindig met us at the altar and told the stories of how we met and the lives that had impacted us. Scott prayed a prayer of blessing over us and joined our two lives. He talked about the fact that a a cord of three strands are not easily broken and what those three strands are made of (our faith in christ, our love for each other and home and the third was our service to the Body of Christ.) Jason Britt took over next after a reading from our friend Heather Heap and talked about the importance of vows and rings. We exchanged the vows that I wrote for us and our rings. I got a little nervous about the rings, but after a quick glance at Jennifer got it right. :) Our friend Stacey Burgess read what she had wrote for us and it was amazing. I actually remember most of it. Then after a precious prayer from Dustin we were led by Chad in our first communion as husband and wife. Chad did an incredible job. One of the most precious and memorable moments from the ceremony came when Chad asked us to turn around and see the people gathered to love on us. It really calmed us both down and was a great way to take in all the faces that were there. After communion and Give Us Clean Hands, we were pronounced husband and wife. We marched down the aisle to Sign, Sealed, Delivered I'm yours, which most everyone loved. It was a great ceremony that I know we will look back on throughout the years, glad that we planned it so carefully and made it a symbol of us.

Tell Me Why...

The mee-maws are the best. Because they come in and get the job done and make it all about you on your special day...and even the night before. These are the pictures from the bracelet being handed down and the Judson girls singing. It was so good they got an encore!!!

So I do care about the grade on that paper

And it was a good one. Highest in the class actually. It's amazing how much better you do when it's your money paying for the degree and getting that piece of paper means a substantial pay raise for you.

One week to go. Holy Cow...I can't believe that this time next week, I will be getting my hair done for my wedding. That's crazy!!

Cheers!!

So I love the show Cheers!!

I mean I really love it.

So I decided to look up the lyrics to the theme song and here are the lyrics that never aired....

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those night when you've got no lights,
The check is in the mail;
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it's tail;
And your third fiance didn't show;

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;
The morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn't even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.

Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came...

Party Time

The big paper is done. It was actually done yesterday, a day befor it was due. Praise Jesus it's all over. I don't even care about the grade. It's over.

So now I can move onto the fact that...

I GET MARRIED IN 16 DAYS!

Writing

I've been writing a lot lately...

1. A paper on the benefits of single sex education for women. Yeah...tore that one up. Why wouldn't I? I went to an all woman's school. AND...it was a reflective paper at that. Grade 9 out of 10.

2. A paper on ethical issues in education. In other words...why women think it's appropriate to sleep with little boys half their age. No comment Brandon on how you are 4 years younger than me...it's not the same.

3. A paper on collaboration and inclusion. Blah blah blah...don't want to write it, the teacher is going to tear me up on it. Don't want to write it. Due next Thursday. Don't want to write it.

4. Thank you notes...a whole lot of....thank you for the cookie sheets.

5. AND MOST IMPORTANT. OUR VOWS. They don't mention pink shorts, toliet seats, or obeying anything he says...but they are us, and amazing.

If these old walls...