The Dash

www.thedashmovie.com

I found out last weekend that my dear friend Darlene has breast cancer. Then I found out that she was having both breast removed, now we know that she needs chemotherapy.

I've done ok with all of this till today, when I saw this movie.

Just please pray. I don't have the promise that she'll be healed here on earth, but I do have the promise that she will be healed.

I'm not angry...i'm just angry

So we've been moving right along in this book that we are doing in our small group. We are starting to get into the "diseases" of the heart that he refers to. He list them as Guilt, Anger, Jealousy and Envy.

Buddy, when we got to the Anger part, I didn't realize just how much of an angry person I really am. I mean, not all the time, but when certain names from the past come up (birth mother) or just certain past situations, I can get fired up.

But he also says in the book, "When are you going to quit letting people who are not in your life, or maybe even dead, have control over your life." And that's true. There are so many good moments stolen from me, because I still hold on to some of these anger issues.

So...i'm going to put on my big girl pants, and deal with them once and for all. I"m going to get them into the light, so that they don't breed in the darkness!

I don't want to be an angry elf for the rest of my life!

Process

So I had this whole great idea for a post, but i'm too tired to write it all down, or do that much thinking, so i'll just update for the moment.

I'm back to subbing. Why you might ask? Because we are still all bi-vocational and that's the wonderful load I get to carry along with, secretary, nursery, preschool and Children's MINISTER!

But I'm really loving the class that I am in right now. I'm there for four weeks while the other para-pro is on medical leave. It's a class with 5 severe autistic kids. I say kids, but they range from 14-19, so they are actually pretty big.

Dante, Jacki, Mikey, Stanley and Chardane have my heart. I've actually not met Chardane yet, but it's coming soon. But Dante, Jacki, Mikey and Stanley are the best. They'll never be able to say anything to me verbally, but they speak volumes into my life.

I'll post pictures soon. I love every part of it, except getting up at 5:45 AM every morning. Yeah...that sucks bad!

Life is good though, and God is faithful. He's calling me into deep water with him right now, and I know I won't sink, but the call to swim comes with a great price. One that I'm not sure I am willing to embrace right now.

Wholeness...Oh Lord, why now? And what's the cost going to be...I'm sure the end is worth it, but I just need that push into the water. And a life-jacket wouldn't hurt!!!

I'm with Ashley

Sometimes a song just puts it so much better than you can. Rest...doesn't necessarily mean that I need to slow down, but more of an attitude that I need to embrace.

Taste the presence of God in this place
And know that He is here
Taste the presence of God in this place
And know that it is real

Hold His hand, let His warmth
Drown out this world so cold
Hear His voice whispering
Never let it grow old

Rest in His arms, feel the breeze
Flowing gently through our hair
See his smile, know He's pleased
When our praises feel the air
Oh my Lord
Oh my God

Taste the presence of God in this place
Taste the presence of God in this place
Taste the presence of God, the presence of God

My 100th post

I wanted it to be special..and it is...this is my friend Karla's new little baby! He was having a good dream. I love Philip Andrew Dickey!
And my brother. See the family line?? I kinda can...maybe it will be different when we meet each other!

You're coming on this journey with me...

Why? Cause I have nothing better to post about, and sometimes I just like to post...so buckle up...it might get a little bumpy the next few weeks!

We started the book tonight. Jason talked about how many times we check our behavior instead of our hearts...and that's so true. Someone will ask me...how are you doing...well I quit smoking, quit drinking, haven't said to many bad words this week, have killed anyone...I must be doing pretty well. When the truth is, I have bigger walls up around my heart than the great wall of China, and I'm slow to want those to go down. I like my walls, they protect me. Instead I should be looking to God to protect my heart.

He also talked about how experiences from the past are the ones that put up those walls...big and small...good and bad...and that's the layers that we have to allow God to peel back. They didn't get there overnight and they're probably not going to go away that quickly either.

So it was a pretty good start. A few of the others mentioned that they are a little scared of this process as well, so I feel a little more comforted by the whole thing. Maybe this can be my counseling and i'll save a few hundred bucks that I don't have anyway!!

I'm just thankful that the Lord is so faithful in my life. Faithful to bring things to the surface that I need to walk through, faithful to have brought me friends that no matter where we go or what we do...we love each other unconditionally, faithful to bring friends in my life for such a time as this...friends who "get me" at that moment, faithful to see me though the changes of life and what they may hold. He's faithful and good.

Going to see Talladega nights tomorrow...wahoo...don't usually get excited about movies, but i'm dang excited about this one.

So i'm not a wife or mother

But does it just seem sometimes like you do the same thing day after day. Everyday there seems to be clothes that need washing, a house that needs to be clean, if I want to eat something other than McDonalds or something nasty like that, then I have to cook, which means I have to clean.

I have a great job, amazing friends, but sometimes I just start the day thinking...am I really going to do anything different today than yesterday.

We are starting a new book in our small group...excuse me...life group this week. It's called "It came from within", by Andy Stanley.

Here's what the back of it says...

"You can't run from what lurks within! More frightening than Frankenstein. More destrcutive than alien invaders. They will numb your soul, steal your life, and threathen your most treasured relationships. Who are these creatures? Where do they come from? At the fall of mankind they were unleased on the world, wreaking havoc and sending thousands fleeing from their homes. And their lair is found in the last place anyone wants to look - the mysterious depths of their own hearts! But be encouraged, these monsters have a weakness. They can be defeated. You can escape their clutches and be free of their influence. Learn the truth - before it's too late."

Sounds fun huh? Not really. I mean i'm excited we are doing it, and excited that our life group is so amazing here, but really ... Do I want to discuss matters of the heart, especially my heart, with a group of people. Um...no.

But, can't exactly not do it either.

So it's been how many months since JDay!! Oh well!

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Things I'm thankful for....

1. That Heather loves me!
2. That I'll always have friends that care about my life...and vise versa!
3. That MBS and her husband are great people and came to see me. You win for the most trips to see me so far!
4. That Ashley is in children's ministry and understands the burden and love that this job is!!
5. That even though our mee-maw roles change, get re-defined, get added on too, or dissolve, one thing remains...we're friends.
6. That despite how unworthy I am, God still continues to work in my life in amazing, incredible ways.

The End!

More updates

So...my dad actually had a heart attack. He's been in the hospital since Sunday morning. They thought that he may have just choked, but the test that they ran on Sunday and all day Monday showed that he did have a heart attack.

He's ok. Just trying to get him to calm down some. He still has pneumonia on top of all of this from inhaling stuff into his lungs as he was having the heart attack.

But he's doing good. The man has 9 lives I swear.

I'll keep you updated!

Update

Here's a really quick update on a lot of stuff.

1. Talked to my brother on Thursday night. He's 30, lives in Georgia and has had a heck of a life. Meaning, when he was 16 he went rebellious and has lived a pretty hard life since. But, he's straightened up since then and seems to be on a better track. He asked a lot of questions, I gave some real honest answers. Lots of emotions being brought up that I don't really want to deal with, but the fact that I get to meet my brother out of all of this makes it worth it.

2. Dad almost died yesterday. I left the New Hope around 6:30 yesterday morning headed back to ATL and by the time I got here, I got a phone call saying that daddy was in the hospital. At the nursing home that morning he got choked on his breakfast and was without air for some time. When they finally got it dislodged he inhaled some of it into his lungs and now pneumonia has set in. He's still in the hospital but seems to be doing ok...a little shaken up by the whole thing. But he's ok. He should be going back to the nursing home sometime today or tomorrow.

So that's it...my life...one big Oprah moment after another!

Awww

Random Pictures

It's a boy??

So before some of you going freaking out about that subject line...i'll get right into an explanation.

Most of you may know that I am adopted. I've known this fact all of my life and have truly been blessed by the outcome.

Many of you also know that because I'm adopted by family, and in recent years I have been able to meet my biological brother and sister (from my birth father's side) and their families.

Well tonight I have received the news that another biological brother (this time from my birth mother's side) has opened up his adoption files. Because he was not adopted by family, his records have remained sealed until now, and it has been at his request that they be opened.

A case worker has contacted my adopted mother and hopefully by the end of the week, I will know if there is a chance that I will be meeting my biological brother.

So...needless to say...I'm excited, thrilled and scared to death at the same time. If nothing else my prayer has always been to know that he's ok and to know that he was raised in a good family. I now know that both are true.

So...I ask for your prayers this week. Please pray that I will have wisdom in decisions that I have to make. Whether the outcome is the way I want it or not, God has already answered prayers through all of this. He is so good and so faithful...in the big and small things of our lives.

I love you all and hope and pray that your week is amazing as well!

Love, Christy

It's back

That lump in my throat that I carried around last year, meaning that I felt like I was going to cry at any minute. Last year it came because I was going through hell with some friends of mine from home, and because God was getting me ready for the biggest move in my life.

But now what is it? Is it because I thought things were going to be so much different here but the truth is you can't out run your demons. Or is it because things really are different here...and that scares me. Or maybe just because I'm homesick and feel like I have a world to shoulder sometimes.

Whatever the reason is why it's back...I wish it would leave.

On a few updating notes. And please don't comment to much on these since the world apparently reads this thing.

1. A week down!
2. Pray for me Monday at 1:45...Marie it's your turn now!
3. I get my car back this week. Dang deer!
4. I love and miss you all!!! Really bad! Who wants to plan a get together!!??

I'm on a mission

You should all go to www.bbcnyc.com/signup.htm

or www.tlc.com and nominate me for What Not To Wear. I'm on a mission to get on this show. PLEASE HELP!!!

Like you didn't have enough BLOGS to look at

here's another one.

This one is being updated all this week.

It's www.tcamc.blogspot.com

It's of the power plant that is going on right now. Basically a bunch of high school and middle school students come help church plants (that's us) go into their communities and get the word out about the churches and help do community impact stuff.

The only staff that you'll see will be me since all of our guys are all at the beach suffering for Jesus! Must be a rough life....

That's it!

One less Bambi in the world

The Escort is ok...the passenger side door won't work..but who's ever brave enough to ride with me anyway!

I'm ok. I think. I took a tylenol PM around 1:30 this morning because Bambi's head coming at me was the only thing that I could see when I shut my eyes.

My former youth pastor might be able to regain his hearing after being on the phone with me while the whole incident occurred.

And for the record...I don't know if the deer died, I don't know if it was a girl deer or a boy deer, or what kind of freaking rack it had on it, AND I REALLY DON'T CARE!!

Oh well!

Only in the world of me...

Could one of my new jobs be....staying with a lady who is 104 years old. Her grandmother shook Lincoln's hand. I want to hear stories, she wants to cheat at Skip-bo. Oh well.

I'm a hypocrite

...i yell at everyone else to update and then I don't for forever. I'm sure that's not the only way i'm a hypocrite. In fact i'm quite sure of it.

So i'm depressed because I just took a quiz for depression and it says i'm depressed.

Did you get that? Seriously...It says that i'm depressed and should be on medication. But I sure don't want that. I just want to get out of this funk that i'm in. Everything is great, I mean sure I miss home, but that's not it. That's not the source of it, I don't think. Homesickness is one thing.

Course it could be because i'm lazy, eat way...way unhealthy and can't fall asleep until 2 in the morning, so I sleep till 10 the next morning and feel like crap for it.

It also doesn't help that all the guys from the church that are usually in the office are getting ready to leave for most of the summer. Well some of them longer than others. I mean don't get me wrong...I have done an amazing amount of work this week...but IT'S SO BORING around here...around my life for that fact. I mean who wants to not have hardly any human contact for a whole week at a time.

My roomate is great though and she got treated like crap this weekend by a stupid boy, and I just may have to drive to Augusta and open up a can on him. Seriously.

So that's it...if you want to know more call...not that there's really anything anyone could do...but you should call anyway!

Me!