HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUSAN!!!

It's all a mistake...

I really think that Judson meant to be Eastern Orthodox instead of Baptist.
See if you can find the similarities....

I went to Pascha the other night, which is the Eastern Orthodox service that brings in Easter if you will.

* It started off at 11 p.m.
* It started off in a dark room
* We lit a candle and went outside
* The priest banged on the door of the church for us to be let in
* Lots of chanting

Ring any bells friends??

It was a great experience though I was totally lost for much of the service and the people in front of me were not helping me out by falling asleep. At 2 in the morning, I get really delirious and giggly.

4 more days friends, 4 more days!!

Wow.....

http://www.brookhills.org/media/pages_videos/page_video_easter0702.htm

Happy Birthday THUMBELINA

OR BETH!! Hope you have a great one!!

New Year's resolutions...

Ok..so it's April 2nd. But in a way, since the end of the last 21 days, I feel the need to make some new "goals" for my life. A check list if you will of things that I want to accomplish this year. Putting them out in the open, keeps me a little more accountable I guess.

1. Score a 55 on the MAT
2. Save enough money to buy a LAPtop
3. Lose 30 more LBS
4. Save up at least 500.00 for an "emergency" fund...Dave gives us poor people a break by saying we only have to have 500.00
5. Run a 10k....(until you read my blog, you'll never know that I'm signing up to do this...we'll see how often you actually check this thing friend)...(also note that I have till the end of the year to complete this...don't be signing us up for one next week!!) (and quit talking to God about crazy things you think I need to do...)
6. Be accepted into Grad school (conditionally or unconditionally, I don't care..just get me in.)
7. Complete my first semester of grad school with a 4.0
8. GET A FREAKING TATTOO...MY FRIENDS NEED TO GET ON THE BALL AND HELP ME WITH THIS ONE...HINT HINT...ROOMIE AND ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER!
9. Keep a POSITIVE attitude that ALL of this is OBTAINABLE AND POSSIBLE.

So there it is...let the ride begin!

It's been awesome...

That's the running joke around my life for the last 21 days. You see I signed up with a few of my friends to eat only vegtables and fruits and whole grains for 21 days. On days when the food was absolutely at it's worst, we tried to convince ourselves that it was awesome. You can only say that so many times and still not believe it. I lost 15 pounds though and gained some much needed wisdom and strength during this time. I've learned about myself, both good and bad. I've trusted people more than ever before...and if they're reading this they need to know how much of a compliment that is to them. I've also come away with more questions than answers...but that's my life it seems. I had never attempted anything like this...so today...on day 22....accomplishment is a great word. We never cheated, never intentionally anyway, and the accountability was in your face for 8 hours a day. (That's what happens when you work with the people).

One thing that I have decided to do, with much counsel from my pastor, friends, and other people at my school, is to begin work on my master's degree in the fall at Piedmont College, in Special Education. Now, if you know me, you know what a horrible student I am, and what a horrible test taker I am. So to say that I am nervous about the whole admissions process, is a HUGE understatement. HUGE. Dr.H and Dr.Tew are both filling out my recommendations. I've asked the VP of a Baptist College and a Preacher to lie and say that I was a good student =). Dr.H's response was..."um hum...I can say a lot of nice things and not have to lie." What true Dr.H form huh?

So that's about it. I think i've experienced every emotion possible during the last 21 days. From major, major breakdown/meltdown/ moments, anger, frustration, peace, extreme sadness and grief, to joy...It's been awesome!!!

Highway 5...take me home...to the place...I belong

Through Alabama...to my mama...take me home...Highway 5.

I hope that as Jennifer and Susan read that today that they almost pee in their pants from recalling the ever famous late night info-mercial e-mail with great songs from our time at Judson. There are a LOT more where that came from!

BUT..instead of Highway 5...it's going to be interstate 20..followed by the most red lights you've ever seen in a row...followed by the longest stretch of highway 431 that you've ever seen...and then one turn past the big tree and the one stop light and i'll finally be back in New Hope for the first time since Christmas.

I will have to say though, that as this week and especially last night, as I was thinking about going home, it hit me that there a hard reality that awaits for me now every time I go home. It's like I've been able to hide from it almost here in Georgia. I mean sure, it's always there, some how just on the tip of my thoughts, but going home is a cold hard reminder of what's happened in my life the past few months and how that is never going to change. I know that there are people that have it so much worse that I do...I mean I look at my friend from college that is truly now an orphan. Sure she's an adult, but even adults need their parents still. It's more of knowing that what never really was, now has no potential to ever be...and even what little bit I had is gone. Some times the dull ache of just being a daughter without a dad hits me, and in weeks like this...where i'm homesick and emotional to begin with, it consumes me.

I grew up thinking that my mom never really liked my dad. I mean she might have loved him somehow, but never really liked him. They would fight, cuss, throw things, yell...but the day that we walked away for the last time from him, she wasn't leaving behind some man that she had exsisted with for the last 30 something years, she was leaving behind her valentine, her soul mate, her husband. She left behind the man that she met, because 30 something years ago she was stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, and he stopped to fix it and asked what time supper was!!

So I'm going home, to whatever faces me...but to see my mom, see my friends, and just be home for a while!

So when are you going to get a real job and become a teacher...

That's what I've heard almost all of my life, and especially in the past few years of being in ministry. Well...it might be coming true...at least for a little while. Today I'm going to turn in my application at a few Private Christian Schools in the area. I don't want to go through the mess of having to become a "real" teacher, so I'm going to try and go this route for a little while. I'll still be the children's person for Mill Creek, I'll just be making a decent income while I'm at it. So if you read this, say a little prayer today.

Things i'm thankful for...

No particular order...but Number 1...IS MY NUMBER 1.

1. THE PINK SHORTS HAVE BEEN FOUND. CALL OF THE SEARCH...AND THE MEMORIAL SERVICE PLANS...
2. That J-day is in approx 61 days and counting.
3. That my mother says that I am her Valentine.
4. That my hair is finally thinned out.
5. That I have thick hair to thin out.
6. That our church has a new place to meet and that starting tomorrow there's another chapter in the life of Mill Creek beginning.


There's more i'm sure..but i'm tired and ready to get this mud mask thing off my face and go to bed.

In case you haven't heard...

For the Judson Girls...if you haven't heard my story of my run in at a local deli here in Georgia..you should...but you should hear it over the phone or better yet in person. It's way to good for a blog.

In other news, my mother says she's coming to Georgia for a visit. Honestly...this scares the living crap out of me. I mean it was one thing when she would come to Judson to visit...not that that ever happened between moving days, but somehow this is different. What if my life now doesn't meet her approval? What if in Kay Davis fashion she says something that totally comes off as offensive to someone? What..my mother...never! Still, I'm excited that she's coming. I really want her to be ok with me being here, and want her to love it as much as I do.

In much sadder news, I think I might have lost the original pink shorts. I'm sure they're just hidden under a bed somewhere or a drawer or something. Lord Baby Jesus..please send them back to me.

Someone needs to come see me soon. I miss you people like a fat kid misses cake.

If these old walls...

I miss those old walls tonight so much. I want someone with me right now that knows exactly what i'm thinking, exactly what I'm needing, and what to do about it.

I miss running to Jennifer's room to all hang out around the "unsanctioned" children at play table and sitting in lawn chairs. I miss having someone around me that had nothing else to do either...or maybe we had lots we needed to do, but knew that college was about so much more than just an education. I miss the roof and all of the amazing conversations that it led to...no matter what your purpose of going out on the roof was. I miss pennies. I even miss studying around the round table in the lobby! I miss asking everyone and anyone if they had heard that Dave Thomas had died!

I just miss it!

Here's what I've learned since I haven't paid my cell phone bill...

1. You really can live without one. I mean, sure, it's harder for people to keep in touch with you, and to some point it's kind of become a way of life, but you really can survive without it. It's amazing that the huge thing that Zack Morris use to carry around has now become a necessity to life.

2. You won't believe how much rest I've gotten since I haven't had to worry about talking after my phone turns free at 9 p.m.... I needed that rest too since I've been sick as a dog this week. I mean really...how much snot can one person produce.

3. That even though this little vacation from technology has been nice, I'll pay my bill on Wednesday and you should all be able to call me if you chose so. But for now, if you need me, e-mail me and I'll send you my house number.

I'm sick and ready to be over it. There's really only so much Tylenol Sinus you can take before you go insane. Sleep never comes at night either. How come I can take naps and not cough at all, but lay down to go to sleep, and I almost kill myself trying to cough it all up? geez.

I've been praying through a lot of things lately concerning my future. Our church has been through quite a few changes the past few months, and it's really been a test to see who can survive the "church planting process." We were told a lot of what is happening would happen, maybe I was just to naive to believe it, or really didn't believe that I would even still be here at this point. But even with all that's happened, this is where I feel I'm suppose to be. SO...to continue to work at the church for free, I have to find other employment after this school year. I can't continue to work special ed and expect to be sane. It's not a job that you go to and leave. And that's the kind of job that I need. But I'm so grateful for being where I've been. Some of the most amazing relationships I have in Georgia have come from this experience.

God has been teaching me so much lately. I've always had a problem with letting guilt and shame get in my way. It's just always been a foothold that I've let Satan have in my life. But God has been teaching me that "I can approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that I may receive mercy and find grace..." For so long I've asked others to do this for me, or I've sinned and thought at the end of the day..there's no way that I can talk to God today. But I have to remember that I'm a sinner, that's not really going to change. How often, and which sins I chose to run back to can change...but until I'm made perfect in Him, that's my reality. So I can spend weeks at a time, in shame and guilt, over the smallest or biggest things, OR I can chose to BOLDLY go to the throne and ask for the gifts that He has to give me. Not gifts that I deserve...but gifts that He CHOSE to lavish on me because He LOVED ME. Choosing to accept God's LOVE is probably my number one challenge in life. But I'm getting there...slowly but surely.

So that's the update. I've got a few more things I've learned but there's only so much sense you can make drugged up!!

YAY!

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I'm glad we made a pact...

So here it is...the long awaited real post. A lot has happened since my last "real" post, but I'll let most of the pictures do the talking. It was good to have a break from school. Wish I was still on one in fact. The mee-maw Christmas this year was by far, hands down, number one voted, the best Christmas we have had together. After all, we made a pact to have great times every year didn't we? It was good to see everyone, admire the ornaments, lay in the hot tub (though we didn't really prepare well for that one) and eat more chicken than 7 girls should ever attempt to eat. We stayed up later than we've done in the past few mee-maw get togethers, but not so late that it was gross trying to get up and moving the next morning.

Christmas in New Hope was a bag full of emotions. That's expected though, and I'm just glad we got through it and on to a New Year. Mom (Kay) is doing well, and making it through better than we could have ever hoped for or imagined considering all that's she's been through. Way to go Kay!

New Year's was a heck load of fun. I spent it in Georgia with the friends here. Longhorn's, Sparklers, Sparkling drinks (just sparkling though), fun hats, IPOD mishaps, and RainX made for a fun night. We even took pictures with Dick on the big screen TV at Kevin's house.

And then life got back to normal. I've spent some time thinking over the past few days about the blessings in my life. I have so much to be so thankful for. I couldn't begin to imagine life without all the friends and family that I have that surround me and support me. I'm thankful for a home town that's so small that you truly have amazing relationships with a lot of people. No matter how far you may go from it, it's always home and always there. I'm thankful for a college that gave me a great education, but more importanly gave me a group of girls that will go with me, where ever, no matter what. We may not talk every day, every week, or even more than a few times a year...but when something happens...good or bad, we know in our hearts the love that we share for each other will always be there. There are ties that bind us together in all that we do. I'm thankful for pacts and hats and people that strive to keep them. I'm thankful for a place that God has led me to, that teaches me to grow everyday. A place where unconditional love is shown, and no matter how hard you may try, they never grow past loving you. A place where I've been poured into and taught how to pour into others. A place where I've been given freedom and permission to be who I am, while encouragment to be more than I've ever dared to dream of being.

I'm blessed!

No it's not a real post

But this is a great new things i've found...

www.43things.com

GREAT

3 More days to go...AND

BETH FINALLY POSTED! YAY!!!

5 WHOLE DAYS!!

6 Days and Counting!

Oh I'm so ready!

FEDEX

Says my ornament should be here on the 12th. I can't wait to see the person open it up! MEE-MAWS get ready for Christmas 06!!!

Out of Control

That's exactly what my life feels like right now. I never knew all of the emotions that I could feel at once...but here's just a few.

Frustrated - At myself for the mess I've made lately with relationships and my life.

Thankful - When I stop to think of all the amazing people who love me in spite of myself. I started just running down a list the other day of friends that would do anything for me and care about me...and the list was overwhelming...i'm blessed.

Envious - Of those at my age that seem to have it all together.

Regret - Of the past that can not change.

Sorrow - It feels weird to be a daughter without a dad.

Tormented - By the images, sounds and smell of death.

Hope - That someday, if I'm blessed with a husband and children, that I'll have the chance to correct some wrongs and be all that my children may need from a mom and be a wife that is my husbands strongest supporter.

Determination - To never allow myself to be like "her" in any way.

Anger - At what I've let others do to me in my past, anger at what they've stolen from me (more than possessions) and anger that I continue to let them steal and rob me of joy and sound mind.

Blessed - To be around such Godly, wonderful, patient, incredible, people who would walk through hell with me.

Overwhelmed - At the Sovereignty of God. It's overwhelming to think on the fact that My God is a God that never changes, and that remains faithful. It's taken me falling on my face the past few days and weeks to come to the understanding that I am nothing without him and that apart from Him I CAN DO NOTHING. It is He that gives me my next breath, and it is only by his amazing power, strength and grace that I can stand.

I truly stand amazed in the presence of Jesus, and wonder how he could love me, a sinner...but how marvelous, how wonderful is His glory. Lord work in our lives in such an astounding way that only YOU can be given the credit for what incredible things happen.

I'm in process right now of trying to regain perspective on life, ministry and relationships. I'll let you know if I get any!!!