Just so those of you who read my blog

know that my friends have the cutest kids in the world.
Lily, Blakeney and Hannah

If I only had a roof....

Sometimes life would be so much better if I only had my Judson friends and Jennifer's old room or the roof of Barron.

But since i don't...i'll have to settle to write this here.

So...I've talked to at least one mee-maw about this...but thought I would share it for all.

I know that some of you make think may not think of me in this way....or may even say that I am being a hypocrite because of the lifestyle that you once knew of me...and that's fine...i've learn that can't please everybody. But, what I am about to share is very personal and very real to me right now, and I can only pray that it will help someone else.

First let me say that God knew what He was doing when he moved me here (and yes there have been times when I didn't think He did!!!). But God has been working on me so much since I have been here. For instance...He is teaching me about trust. Trusting myself, Trusting others (never been good at that one) and most of all, Trusting Him. If there is one thing that I have never been good at it's been letting go of the control that I have on my life. I know that I suck it up, really bad at times, so why I choose to hold on to so many things, amazes me. But God has really been teaching me that it's time to let go. It's time to turn it over to Him and to trust no matter what. He is teaching me that I have to be broken in order to move on. For so long I've only had myself to fall back on in my life, and so I've placed myself ahead of Him too many times.

To be honest, I'm tired. I'm tired of having empty conversations with friends about the life that I want...instead of the life that I am pursuing. I'm tired of running to others to fix my problems and pray for me...when the ONLY one that can fix them is begging me to come to Him. I'm tired of playing the game in front of this crowd and then acting a totally different way in front of another crowd because I am scared that they will think that i've gone nuts or not accept me. I'm tired of being afraid and living in the past. I'm tired of caring what people think and just living the way that I know that I should.

And so I am learning to let go, to trust Him and to do whatever it takes, no matter what the cost. I am ready to experience a new level in my walk with Christ no matter what others may think or say. I'm ready to trust the people that God has surrounded me with. To LEAN on them and to LEARN from them, but to not burden them or seek attention just because I am needy.

I can't even begin to tell you the level of respect that I have for the pastors and friends that God has blessed me with here, and I can't tell you how thankful I am for the amazing support system that He has blessed me with in my Judson friends and the few friends from home that continue to pray for me, and communicate with me and love me, even though they are disappointed that I am gone.

Don't let me become the person that some of you once knew. If you see me falling into those traps, no matter where you may be personally, slap me out of it. Push me and pray for me.

Even though I have no clue who all may read this...I do know that some of my very best friends will...and to you...and you know who you are...THANK YOU. Thank you for being my friend and for making me a better person. Thank you for loving me just the way I am. Thank you for accepting me, faults and all but pushing me to be all that I can.

Love, Criddy!

1 is the loneliest number

This week I am making a major accomplishment in my life by staying by myself for a WHOLE WEEK!! It's going to be crazy. The family that I live with right now is gone on a business trip/family visit...so it's just me, myself and I. Of course I have every light on in the house at ALL TIMES, but so far i'm making it. I'm more scared of me than I am of a total stranger breaking in the house. I'm scared of being alone with myself. I would rather occupy my time with friends and conversation than have time alone to think. Thinking gets me in trouble sometimes.

We've been at a church planting conference today and we'll head back there tomorrow. Sometimes I forget that this really is a church plant with a long way to go...other times the reality hits me upside the head....HARD! But the good thing is...I still love my job, I still love the kids, I still love and respect the people I work with and under...and that's all that I could have ever asked for.

I'm learning a lot about myself over here! I'm learning that I have a long way to go as a person...as a Christian...as a leader, but I'm also learning that if I'll work on trusting people a little bit more...the end result may just be something that I'm proud of.

I'm also CONTEMPLATING going to seminary for my master's. It's not official, i've just been looking. I'm thinking of starting off small...just a class here and there and seeing where I go from there. We'll see...there's a lot of praying that has to go into that one. One thought of math or spanish makes me want to say...HEEEEEEEECK NO!!!

Well that's about it. No cute kid to post about...nothing really exciting...but it's what you get for now!!!

Ok.Ok.Ok.

I've made it where anyone can comment! I didn't realize I had it the way I did.

AND...I didn't write that last post for my health...well I did kinda...but I wrote it so that people would answer it. Yay for sara-beth and even the body condom comment...

i can't believe I just wrote that in my blog....

Question:

Do you think that I am transparent?

With all this talk

of Judson memories, it makes me want to get together with all of you girls even more. J-day just seems to far away! Let's try and plan something shall we??

The chicken on the Arby's cup scare me....

Well they do. I hate chickens! They just look like they could attack me and peck my eye out or something. But the other day when the guys were trying to figure out what animals we would all be....what did they pick for me...a chicken. They said it was because of my voice....go figure.

So last night I had a really weird dream. I guess because last night when I was driving home from a friend's house I kept seeing those billboards that change. So I had a dream that the pictures in my house kept changing. It was really weird.

How lazy am I, that this morning I finally realized that I need to flip over my mee-maw calendar to Feb. It was great though because I got to flip it over and see fun pictures and add Blakeney's birthday to it.

I found out that my friend Karla is having a baby boy. That'll be the first boy in the last 5 babies born in my life.

This post is kinda random...but then again so am I?

Your life path number is 1

Your purpose in life is to lead others.

You have great drive and determination. Nothing is going to stand in your way.
You seek out challenges and the spotlight. You'll take all the work - and all the glory.
Status and success are important to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything.

In love, you tend to take a protective role. You enjoy being the provider in relationships.

You expect others to be like you, and as a result, you are often disappointed.
A little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first.
Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you don't need to remind them!



Some truth to it I guess. So the update in my life is that my head is going to explode one of these days! I'm serious. I've been having horrible headaches. Wow...I'll be glad when all of this is over.

Other than that...it's just life.